Sometimes people ask me about the bow tied way and if it’s possible to be more relaxed. So here is some helpful (I hope it’s helpful) advice for accessing your inner bow tied giraffe
Step one, officially declare your time to dedicate to accessing your inner bow tied giraffe – this is a very important step and should not be overlooked otherwise halfway through you may forget what you’re doing and move on to something else forgetting that you were in fact giving time to your inner bow tied giraffe
Step two, put the kettle on, I have to get Caroline to help me with this bit as I’m not much keen on handling kettles so if you need help don’t forget to ask
Step three, decide what tea you’re going to have, we have lots of teas, all loose leaf- this is important, see question three, Caroline can’t always decide what tea she wants she has improved but sometimes she still has to ask me, it’s necessary to have a tea that suits your mood as this helps you to realise to start with what mood you’re in and then have something to compliment it or maybe ease it. Sometimes I have an Assam if I want something strong with milk (like after I’ve been out in the rain) and if I want to feel less blue I have a green tea etc etc
Step four, get a teapot and find a cup, or more if you’re sharing. My favourite cups have spotty giraffes on them, Caroline had them before she even met me- funny isn’t it! Maybe one day I might have a cup with me on it, we already have my favourite teapot, the one with spots all over it!
Step five, wait for your tea to brew, this is also an important step and ought not to be rushed as it might cause hiccups. This is a time when someone might mistake you for doing nothing and come and ask you to do something at which you point you need to politely say ‘no, not just now, I’m accessing my inner bow tied giraffe, please come and talk to me later’ one ought not to rush tea to brew, it doesn’t like being rushed, who does?
Step five, sit down with your tea, strain it if you like or leave in leaves if you fancy deciphering (this means working out)your future with them! Choose from a number of bow tied giraffe musing or meditations to ease your mind, for example: what waistcoat would best suit a gold bow tie, at what point does a cake become a gateaux, how would a sofa surf or can a tap tap dance……………. You will hopefully feel a pleasurable feeling in your brain and your face may move, cheeks rising and mouth widening, you may even open if you laugh in which case take care not to lose any tea- laughing and drinking tea is a fine art and not as easy as you might think.
To consolidate the session tell someone about your revelations, you may find not everyone relates to your experiences, even if you have just worked out the most amazing pattern for a bow tie made from Lego but don’t be disheartened, their inner bow tied giraffe may be a bit trapped and may not have been nurtured for some time. If they don’t understand you can always write to me about it.
Note: your inner bow tied giraffe ought to be accessed on a daily basis, ideally several times a day especially if your outer human is not wearing a bow tie- though other accessories may help- particularly hats and anything around the head. For the best results a little nibble of something with your tea.
